sicky sab 

Ulyses Razo

when i tell you i’m developing a crush on sickysab you say lmao she’s def your type and i say lol really and you say thin high femme white semi-quirked up shawty with a baby face sultry gaze big boobies and a relaxed but slightly violent sex appeal

i say true

i say you are not wrong

onyew says thats her type too and ian tips his fedora to that

ana says kiss i say marry she says kill

i listen to sabrina’s deep girl voice on a podcast and am surprised by how much she has to say but not overwhelmed by it, she has just the perfect amount of things to say, and says them in a chill demeanor, not too excited but also not like she doesn’t care, you can tell she does, which makes you care too, and because she's not talking nonstop and at wild speeds this also leaves room for the listener’s desire to enter, to want to hear more, the way a whisper will almost always bring a face closer

ana tells me about speedy ortiz and her voice is nice but she has no rhythm

‘no below’ is good but still too slow or quiet or classically indie for what i'm looking for and what i'm looking for is Pretty Sick

is sabrina white i ask you, i thought she was latina

white latinas exist you say. acknowledge them.

sabrina you are different than i imagine you to be

i am also different than how i imagine myself

to know this is forgiveness

it’s sunday and i’m stalking your tiktok again. three minutes in and this has cured my depression

my favorite one so far is the one where you’re vlogging again (captioned ‘vlogging again 🍌🐵’) and you say hey guys, just. realized i haven't vlogged in a while, *clears throat*, i’m eating my favorite meal, kimchi and cold noodles, i’m wearing my outfit for the show later, followed by a still overhead image of yourmeal, then two memes: the first a drawing of a person looking in the mirror with the caption: be so completely yourself that everyone feels scared, the second a picture of britney spears with the following text along her clavicle: sometimes i lowkey take it too far

i’m sad so i'm going to stay up watching your music videos

i'm sad so i texted my ex because it was one of those things
i was putting off in an effort to not move on

i’m sad so i'm going to fantasize about killing myself but not

actually do it, no matter how much i think i want to

i’m sad so one day i'm going to be happy

today is the saddest day of my life

it feels amazing

one thing about sabrina is that she’s not lying when she says that every date she’s ever been on the guy instantly falls in love

she is just like me fr because a friend sent her that picture of
lea seydoux crying at cannes saying ‘u vibes idk why’ and i have
often posted this picture on my finsta and close friends stories as
a kind of visual metonym for my emotional state

she posted saying she needs a boy wednesday night thru thursday morning but i am coming to terms with the fact that my personality is too small

listening to her bday playlist i now realize that enrique iglesias was only ever covering cher, that that song where he sings, do you believe in love after love, was not his own, but cher’s, and then i think about how cher’s voice sounds like a man’s, and then i wonder whether i should feel bad about that, if that’s something that would trigger someone, and then i think i don’t care, the voice is simply not feminine, and maybe that’s what i meant, that cher’s voice is not feminine, which doesn’t mean it’s like a man’s, it could mean it’s androgynous, and then i think i’m sounding like a tao lin tweet combined with hemingway, except that instead of short sentences i'm writing a long sentence, so that all im really left with is the misogyny, and i think i like feeling out of breath, that there’s nothing like writing something that’s way too long cos that’s when u feel on top of the world, and also when you get that little fear of it coming to a close so you think of something else to say, only this time you can’t seem to do that, and that’s sad, but also pretty, like sabrina

ronald, you said brother i am not trying to critique you orpsychoanalyze you or anything but i think the reason you're doing
this is because it leaves enough room for the imagination because she’s unattainable and therefore it doesn’t risk any real intimacy and connection

ronald, this was me when you said that

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