Angela - By Parker Love Bowling

 Captain Billings had a great big beard. His beard was so great that it nearly made up for him having such a little heart.

 If only his heart could grow to be big and great like that beard, Angela thought.
Being the captain’s daughter had many perks: travels around the world, a great big house and a cabin aboard ship, respect, and an infinite supply of cable knit sweaters—but Angela did not care for those things. All she wanted was for her father to love her. To her, it seemed that all he loved was the sea, and all he tended to was his great big beard, as if it were a rose garden. I wonder if I were a boy and could grow a great big beard like his, if it would make him love me. 

Angela looked out her cabin window and watched the horizon bop up and down until it made her seasick. Her father loved the sea, but it only made her vomit. They had nothing in common it seemed, and in a week’s time, Angela Billings would step off the ship and onto The Land of the Free, where her mother had been living for some time. Angela was not sure if, when the ship docked, she would ever see that great big beard again.

 Her father hid behind his beard like a mask. It had grown so massive she could barely recognize the man underneath. Is he even capable of loving anybody? Angela wondered. Maybe the only way I can get him to love me, is if I give myself to the sea. 

All Angela’s life, the only sort of affection she received was from young sailors—but as those sailors made her mattress bop up and down like the horizon, her father’s was the only face she could see. Sometimes she could even feel his beard tickling her chin, but of course, that was only a fantasy. To her, her father was everything. He was Poseidon. He was The God of the Sea.

 The next day, Angela awoke early, dressed in one of her many cable knit sweaters, and went to the ship’s kitchen to prepare breakfast for her father, the same breakfast she made him every morning. It consisted of cold coffee and Cream of Wheat drowned in butter and maple syrup. She arranged the breakfast on a tray and carried it to the captain’s quarters, where she lingered a moment at the door before knocking.
“Come in!” Captain Billings demanded.

“Ahoy, Daddy!”
 Angela placed the tray atop her father’s desk, where maps were sprawled out for Captain Billing’s inspection. Angela moved around the desk and gave her father a kiss on the cheek. She closed her eyes with desire as she felt that great big beard scratch against her smooth face. She wished she could take that syrup-drowned hot cereal and pour it on his beard so maybe, just maybe, the syrup would make it sticky enough to get stuck to her face for all eternity.
“What in Poseidon’s name are you doing?” Captain Billings bellowed.
Angela turned pink as coral and jumped back, releasing her father’s beard from her lips.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Daddy.”
 Maybe if I spill his coffee on the map, we can be lost at sea together, Angela thought to herself. And so, she did. She took her long arm and cut it across the desk, spilling Captain Billings’ daily breakfast—the cold coffee, the Cream of Wheat, the butter, the maple syrup—all over the map.

“Angela! Poseidon damn you! Get your ass out of here!”

 But Angela just stood there as her father rummaged through a trunk for another map. Angela took a big gulp before speaking again, her voice now trembling. “Daddy, I just want you to know that right now, I could cry enough tears to raise sea levels around the world by two and a half feet. But I won’t, because I do not want to make a mess out of your navigation, because if the sea levels did rise two and a half feet, that map would no longer be accurate anyhow!”

“What in Poseidon’s name has gotten into you?” Captain Billings asked his only daughter.
“Daddy, you don’t belong on a ship!” Angela’s voice grew louder with each passing word.

She took her hand and reached out to her father, grasping onto the end of that great big beard growing from that great big man. “You belong on a great big sea horse saving little boys that have been swallowed up by whales! Love me like a little boy! Save me, Daddy! Save me!”
“Is that how you think of me?” the Captain asked, his anger having subsided like a retreating tide. “Angela, life isn’t a fable or a fairytale.”
“I do not know of fairies! Only fish!” Angela stormed out, slamming the door so hard behind her it created waves. Captain Billings did nothing. He only turned to look at that bopping horizon as he petted his beard affectionately, as if it were a cat or a sea otter.

Back in Angela’s cabin, she lay on her bed, sulking. He is like a sea anemone. You touch him and he cringes, Angela thought. I am like an urchin. Touch me and I’ll squeeze you, if you don’t mind the poison. She looked out her window to that same horizon, bopping up and down, hoping it would make her sick, but it didn’t have its usual effect. Once I’m in America, I don’t ever want to lay eyes on another ship, she thought.

 Later that night, when only the eels weren’t sleeping, Angela was awoken by a knock at her door.

“Who is it?” Angela asked, but there was no response. The door to her cabin creaked as a great big shadow pushed it open.    

 Angela smiled as the figure approached, slowly embracing her. Once wrapped tightly in the figure’s arms, she could feel that familiar scratch against her cheek. The scratch of Captain Billings’ great big beard.

 The next morning, Angela awoke early like any normal day, and went to the kitchen to retrieve that same cold coffee and Cream of Wheat drowned in butter and maple syrup to bring to her father—only this time, she did so with a great big smile on her face. After a gentle knock, Captain Billings granted access to his cabin. Angela put the tray down then went to kiss her father on the cheek, but once her lips were planted on him, she noticed something was very, very wrong. His great big beard was no more. It was missing from her father’s face. Without it, Angela could see her father for what he was: a man, married to the sea. She rubbed her lips against him, but he no longer scratched her. His face was a smooth as a stingray. Angela backed away in horror.

“Daddy? When did you shave your beard?” Angela inquired with frightened eyes.
“Yesterday.”
“Yesterday night? Late, after you and I...?”
“What in Poseidon’s name are you talking about? No, yesterday afternoon.” The captain went on, “We’ll be docking in America in a few days, and I haven’t seen your mother in years. I didn’t want her not to recognize me.”

Angela let out a shriek so loud it could be heard at the very bottom of the ocean. “What do I need to do to get you to love me?” Angela pleaded. Captain Billings looked at his daughter solemnly. “Angela, I am not a passionate man. You know there is only room for one thing in my heart.”

 Angela hung her head. “Yes, Captain. The sea. Now that your great big beard is gone, you only care for the sea.” Angela then left the room, and even though she closed the door very softly, the ship rocked violently.

 That night, when only the eels were awake, Angela sneaked out of her cabin and on deck. She figured if she ate a box of dried Cream of Wheat, once she hit the water, it would expand in her stomach and make her so heavy that she would sink. Angela looked at the horizon, where a single light could be seen, bopping up and down.
That must be America, Angela thought.
She removed her jeans and one of her many cable knit sweaters. Her naked body glistened in the moonlight.

“If only Captain Billings could see me now,” Angela whispered to herself. She climbed up on the railing of the ship and looked down at the deep dark water. “Here I go. Now he will love me. One with the sea.”

 In the morning, no one brought Captain Billings his breakfast. He stayed in his cabin until the afternoon, not knowing why his stomach ached so. As the hours passed, the aching became less and less tolerable till he had to grab his great big belly with one of his great big hands. That’s when he realized he had not eaten. He went above deck to look for his daughter. He spotted the jeans and the cable knit sweater, but no Angela. All he found was an empty box of Cream of Wheat.

Sea levels rose by two and a half feet that year, though no one knew why. By the time Captain Billings realized his maps were no longer accurate, he had a great big beard again. Over the years, he shriveled up behind it till he no longer had a great big beard. The great big beard had him, and was about ready to shave him off and leave him to the only thing he could ever love: the sea, which possesses thousands of unloved daughters from all over the map, at least one from every port, all over the world.